


familiar faces

by watergator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: First Meetings, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Pornstars, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:00:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: there's a handsome tesco delivery man standing in phil's doorway and he can't figure out where he recognises him from. until he does
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 128





	familiar faces

Phil’s deep into a Mario Kart round when there’s a knock at the door, making him jump. He looks at the door, then back at the TV where he’s slipped into eight place as Baby Peach absolutely totals him with a green shell that–

The door knocks again, and Phil pauses his game, his own Mii frozen on the screen with a look that can only be described as utter disappointment as Phil turns away and heads towards the door.

He forgets that he’s half in his pyjamas and half in normal clothes whilst his hair is unwashed and flat on his head, and that there’s a little shadow of stubble rounding off his jaw, but he rarely cares anymore these days; if people can’t get the memo that there’s a pandemic going on, and that he has absolutely no obligation to showering and putting on jeans everyday, then he’s not sure what to do.

But when he opens the door with half a yawn aching at his jaw, all that bullshit seems like the worst idea ever.

Mostly because the delivery driver standing in his doorway looks kinda fit  _ and  _ Phil is sure he knows this person.

“Oh,” Phil squeaks, like he’d forgotten he’d even placed a Tesco order in the first place, his eyes flickering to the man in the doorways fleece with the embroidered logo over the breast.

“Phil Lester?” The man’s voice is a little muffled behind his mask, but it’s posh sounding. Phil closes his mouth and nods.

“Uh. Yeah. Yes, that’s… hi.”

The man either doesn’t notice how weird he’s being, or maybe he’s just too damn polite to draw attention to it, because he just smiles with his eyes and turns around where there’s a crate full of plastic bags full of food.

And all Phil can focus on is the swell of his ass under the tight black trousers he’s wearing.

Phil has to stop himself from staring as he makes a mental reminder that he’s only wearing a very thin pair of Star Wars pyjama bottoms, and if he keeps staring, this poor stranger is going to be very aware of that soon.

He’s rustling through the bags, still bent right over when he sighs heavily, stands up and looks at Phil rather apologetically.

“I think your crate is in the van still,” he tells him, shaking his head. “Sorry about that. D’you mind if I go grab it real quick?”

Phil shakes his head and the guy gives him a nod of thanks.

He goes to bend over again to pick up the crate, and Phil finds himself taking a step forward.

“Need a hand?” He asks, trying hard to make sure his voice doesn’t go too high, but the guy waves him off.

“Nah,” he shakes his head as he picks it up and stands up again. “Company policy mate, but thanks.”

Phil just blinks at him, standing there dumbly. “Oh,” he says quietly. “Yeah, of course. See you in a minute then.”

The guy seems to smile again before he’s spinning on his heel and heading towards the stairs again.

Phil doesn’t even get a chance to start up Mario Kart again before there’s another knock at the door, and Phil’s leaping to his feet to grab the door again.

It’s the Tesco man again, but this time his mask is dangling from one ear, looking kind of breathless as he has the crate cradled in his arms.

“How much do you eat, mate?” He jokes and Phil finds himself laughing easily.

“Sorry,” he winces as he starts to take handfuls of bags out of the crate. “As you can see I’m kind of a mess,” he says wearily as he gestures down at himself, any kind of dignity he had left is now completely shot.

“Well. Can’t blame you,” Tesco man shrugs his shoulders, handing Phil another bag; it’s full of biscuits and marshmallows. No shame.

He’s handing Phil his shopping, when Phil looks at him, able to get a real look at him now that his mask is dangling off his face, and he cocks his head at him.

“Do…” Phil starts, Tesco man stops and looks at him. “Sorry. Do… do I know you from somewhere?”

Tesco man gives a breathy laugh, and there’s a spot on his jaw that goes a little pink as he ducks his head, only to look back at Phil again almost sheepishly. It’s very cute. His dark lashes flutter over his cheek when he says sweetly, 

“It’s probably the porn.”

Phil just stands there, blinking at the Tesco delivery guy still standing in his doorway, wondering if there was any chance if what he thought he just heard was actually correct.

Because there's absolutely, not in a million years, any kind of possible chance that—

“I mean. It’s only amateur,” he shrugs. “Don’t go running to customer service or anything but Tesco doesn’t really pay enough to get by or anything.”

Phil splutters, feeling his ears burn. “Oh!” He squeaks. “Oh, that’s– that’s no problem, obviously you can… anyone can, um. They’re free to— you’re free to… do… that. Obviously. Not that you need my approval. I don’t. I, uh, I don’t even  _ know  _ you.”

Tesco man smirks at him, handing him the last bag. He has a devilish look twinkling in the darks of his eyes.

“Sure mate. That’s what they all say.”

Phil swallows thickly. His Star Wars pyjamas are horrendously thin and tight.

“ _ They _ ?” He asks shly. 

Tesco man shrugs. “People like you. People who recognise me and then get all flustered when I tell them where they know me from.”

Phil’s mouth is hanging open enough that if his mother was here, she’d tell him to close it unless he’s planning on catching flies. 

But his mother isn’t here, thank god, because the bedroom eyes the Tesco man is currently flashing him from where he’s stood are really driving him crazy as he swallows drly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.   
  
“What do you usually do?” Phil tries desperately to keep his voice steady, but fails when it cracks as he speaks next. “After you tell people that?”   
  
Tesco man runs his tongue over the inside of his bottom lip and yeah - Star Wars pyjamas are totally and utterly useless.   
  
“Depends,” he shrugs, and Phil’s voice is hoarse and whispered when he asks,   
  
“On what?”   
  
There’s that devilish smirk again that drives Phil absolutely nuts as he stares at him standing there.   
  
“When my next shift is,” he tells him, an air of nonchalance about him, all whilst Phil’s heart is pounding against his ribs hard enough he’s fearful he’ll bruise.   
  
“And when is that?” Phil croaks. Tesco man takes a step forward, edging closer, stranger danger be damned, this feels like a real life porno, with a real life porn star. All whilst still wearing his Tesco uniform.

“An hour from now,” he shrugs, and then he leans up against the doorframe and Phil takes a moment to really appreciate how long and slender this man in. His legs,  _ fuck,  _ his legs, Phil’s mouth goes dry as he forces his eyes to stop staring and make some sort of totally not awkward eye contact.

And then he says something completely unsexy.

“What about… the virus?” He frowns. As much as he would absolutely love to just drag this man inside and let him do whatever he bloody well pleases, there’s still some brain cells working in his big, empty head, and they promptly remind him about distance and no touching. All of which he wishes could be the opposite right now; no space between them and all the touching.  _ Everywhere. _

But Tesco man gives him a confident smile, straightening up a little bit as he continues his fixed gaze on Phil, smirking just a little bit.

“I get tested regularly,” he tells him, and whilst it’s definitely a mood killer and not at all a line he’d hear in any kind of porn (unless there’s pandemic porn he isn’t aware of) it does give him a bit of relief. 

“For both jobs, that is,” Dan then adds. “Like. All the tests.”

Phil swallows thickly.

“And it looks like  _ you _ …” Dan takes a careful step forward, and he’s officially in Phil’s apartment now. “Well it looks like you haven’t left this place in months, no?”

Phil nods dumbly. It’s true. He seriously can’t remember the last real human contact he had that wasn’t people watching from his apartment.

And go figure the first person he meets after months and months of isolation is a fucking pornstar. And a really fit one at that.

“Must be lonely, up here in this big, big flat by yourself,” Tesco man pouts and Phil’s tongue feels far too big for his mouth as he manages to croak out,

“Penthouse, actually.”

Tesco man’s eyes glint wildly and Phil wonders for a split second that maybe he’s about to be actually mugged, but Tesco man unzips his fleece (again, totally not very sexy) and it crumples in a heap on the floor.

“A place like this, you must always have boys up here,” he grins. “Before the whole isolating thing, I mean.”

Phil shakes his head. Mario Kart is still paused on the TV and there’s a pile of dirty dishes in the sink with an empty pizza box that he finished off this morning but he appreciates the Tesco man trying to hype up this facade of his.

“Oh,” Tesco man blinks. “Well. You must be  _ very  _ lonely then,” he practically purrs. “Are you desperate?”

Phil opens his mouth.

But Tesco man beats him to it too easily.

“I think I know how desperate you are,” he says, eyes flickering down towards the direction of his crotch and Phil feels his face burns when he suddenly becomes very aware of how hard he is.

“Want me to help you not feel lonely?” He pouts, jutting out his fat, bottom lip and Phil’s having very dirty thoughts about what he desperately wants to do to that bottom lip.

So he nods, as Tesco man grins at him, like the cat that got the goddamn cream.

“Sit down. Phil? Was it?”

Phil’s walking on shaky legs as he sits on the sofa, feeling like the cushions are sucking him down from the weight of gravity pushing down on him, and Tesco man walks towards him, and then, he drops right to his knees.

“Gonna take care of you, okay?” He purrs, and then presses a hand to Phil’s crotch which in turn Phil shows just how desperate he is when he pushes into it, eyes fluttering shut as he bites down hard on his bottom lip, trapping it between his teeth.

He feels the softness of fingers skimming over his lower belly where his shirt has ridden up, and with that, they’re dipping underneath the waistband of his pyjama trousers, and in one swift movement like a professional, (and then Phil almost laughs out loud because this guy  _ is  _ a professional) the pyjamas are being yanked down, and his cock springs free.

He has just about enough willpower to open his eyes and stare down at the scene before him; the stranger is hovering over his dick where it’s straining upwards, enough that he can just about feel his hot breath on his skin.

He goes to move towards him, a tongue darts across his lips in anticipation when Phil stops him suddenly with a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait,” he tells him, voice croaky and heavy with lust. “I didn’t catch your name,” he asks him.

The Tesco man smiles, two dimples appearing either side of his face, and his eyes flash with something exciting.

“It’s Dan,” he tells himself, and Phil thinks this might just be the only time in his life that someone’s introduced themselves whilst being in such close proximity to his bare penis.

But Phil really doesn’t care, because half a second later, Dan’s lips are wrapped around his head, and he’s sucking right around the tip with his tongue flat on the understated and Phil’s brain short circuits for maybe twenty seconds as he tries to regain some control as Dan starts blowing him.

He finds himself grabbing a fistful of Dan’s hair, only now noticing how thick and curly it is, almost too perfect as he holds on tight, giving it a sharp tug when Dan hollows out his cheeks and sinks down lower, only to elicit a deep hum from him, and Phil bucks his hips up in enthusiasm, the head of his dick brushes against the soft give of his throat, and Phil’s really fucking hoping he can last than just a few minutes in front of a literal porn star.

A few sucks later and Dan’s pulling off with a wet popping sound that’s entirely too obscene, and there’s a trail of spit that connects the head of his twitching, swollen head, to Dan’s puffy, spit slicked, bottom lip.

He licks it away feverishly, eyes dark and glistening as he looks up at Phil with thick, dark lashes, and Phil truly wonders how the hell he ended up here.

The reality of the situation doesn’t become any clearer when Dan’s grinning up at him, a little breathless where his chest is heaving up and down, when he practically purs,

“Would you fuck me with this?”

At first, Phil wonders if it’s just a hypothetical question. Maybe just an ego booster (that he’ll happily accept) or maybe he really does want to be fucked.

But Phil doesn’t really fuck strangers. Not literal strangers. Not Tesco delivery man type strangers.

But Dan looks so goddamn needy and Phil’s dick is so hard it’s almost painful.

And he knows that despite the fact he has a whole city of gay men he could sleep with at anytime, there’s a very thin window of opportunity to ever sleep with a pornstar – a pornstar that is this good looking and already so very good with his mouth.

So Phil finds himself nodding dumbly as he just swallows dryly and watches as Dan expertly sheds his uniform, letting it hit the floor with a thud until he’s completely naked, standing in his living room with his ass and dick out like it’s nobody's business.

“You have condoms?” Dan asks casually and for a split second a wave of fear rushes through Phil that he doesn’t, until he remembers a rather unsuccessful hookup from months ago, with the condoms still in the box, in his bedside drawer, virtually untouched.

“Yeah,” he croaks. Then he stumbles to his feet, his dick slaps against his stomach rather comedically as he stands, and then gives Dan an awkward nod as he trots towards his bedroom.

Once he gets back, hands shaking with the slight buzz running under his skin still, Dan’s still knelt in front of the sofa, knee’s pressed into the door, hands spread across thick, hairless thighs, looking at Phil with a determination as his eyes flicker over the square foil being flipped over in his fingers, over and over again.

“Don’t need to finger me,” Dan huffs as he moves aside to let Phil sit back down. “Did it myself this morning.”

Phil’s just blinking as he looks at Dan, watching in awe the way he takes the condom from his grasp and opens it with his teeth, tearing into and making a face when the sharp taste hits his tongue.

“Could do with some lube though,” Dan then adds as he starts to roll the rubber over his length, eyes flickering up at Phil suggestively, and once again Phil has to manually kick his brain into a working gear when he opens his mouth and closes it a few times before he speaks,

“Some in the drawer,” he nods to the place behind Dan where his coffee table sits. “Just behind you.”

Dan smirks, obviously thinking of a million and one reasons as to why Phil would ever keep spare lube in the coffee table drawer in his living room, then, spins, yanks the drawer open and starts rooting around for it.

It’s only a small travel sized bottle that Phil can’t remember where he got it from, but Dan pretty much dumps the entire contents of it in his palm, then without warning, grabs the base of Phil’s dick and starts stroking upwards.

Phil loses himself in the ecstasy of fucking into the soft warmth of Dan’s large palm, feeling himself edging closer and closer to the edge when suddenly it’s yanked away from him at the last second, and he’s actually yelping in protest. 

Dan chuckles in a deep tone that has his stomach flipping over in anticipation as watches the man before him lift himself from where he’s knelt on the floor, his knees giving a small crack and pop and before Phil can form words Dan’s waving him off.   
  
“Just stay there. Gonna ride you okay?”   
  
Phil just nods dumbly again, fingers digging into the fabric of the cushion that’s beside him, and there’s a small voice in the back of his brain telling him that if he manages to stain this couch any more than he already has, he’s not getting his deposit back.   
  
But Phil’s not thinking about deposits or stuffy landlords that wanna take his money, mostly because Dan’s facing away from him, and he has his dick enclosed in a loose fist as he gives it a few tug before he’s backing up, and the tip brushes over a taut hole.   
  
Phil’s breath hitches in his breath, and he’s conflicted between squeezing his eyes shut to let the pressure intensify, or forcing them open to watch as Dan spreads the remaining lube around his pink, puffy hole, winking at him as he starts to sink down on his dick.   
  
It takes a while but eventually he’s fully seated, and with a huff of air escaping, they both start laughing airly and Dan throws his head over his shoulder to glance at Phil briefly.   
  
“You’re not gonna tell my boss about this, are you?” He asks, voice wavering between slight nervousness and pleasure.   
  
Phil shakes his head vigorously and swallows thickly. He needs Dan to move and he needs him to move now.   
  
So he lets go of his couch cushion and gives into the caveman part of his brain that’s been stomping it’s ugly little feet ever since Dan had palmed him through his pyjamas and he grabs at Dan’s waist, groaning at the soft, fleshy give of his love handles as he rubs his thumb over his bare skin.   
  
It’s then that Dan starts riding, slow at first but eventually they find a rhythm and Phil’s is digging his heels into the floor so hard that he wonders if he could break the wood beneath the carpet with all that pressure.   
  
It seems surreal; when Phil looks up after he manages to tear his eyes away from the sight that is Dan’s ass bouncing on his cock, as he realises the situation he’s in.   
  
Mario Kart is still paused on the tv, there’s an old sock left on the coffee table and there’s the Tesco delivery man/pornstar he may or may not already know riding his dick like it’s the most important thing in the world right now.   
  
Dan’s breaths are getting higher and breathier and Phil’s already been toeing the edge since the beginning, so he grabs at Dan’s ass, kneading the cheeks with his knuckles as he tries so desperately to hold out just for a little longer.   
  
Dan keeps an impressive pace up, scooting forward to help himself find the right spot and for a moment Phil wonders if he’s being selfish, basically just sitting here like a fool, letting Dan do all the work.   
  
But Dan’s earlier words about letting him take care of him echo in his head, and if this really is a real life porno situation, Phil’s happy to be a teeny bit greedy right now.   
  
“Gonna come,” Phil grunts out when he feels like holding on is no longer an option; his composer starting to slip as he starts to weakly buck his hips with as much effort that he can muster, and his toes dig into the carpet and he’s squeezing Dan’s ass hard enough to leave handprint marks if he’s not careful.   
  
“Uh huh,” Dan grunts, voice still pitchy, his hands are sweaty where he’s holding onto Phil’s legs for support, and he doesn’t slow down or change pace as she keeps his pace, little pants of air escaping him as he drops down over and over again.   
  
It hits Phil all at once and his mouth falls open, his eyes scrunching shut as he jerks forward, his head pressed against the sweaty skin of Dan’s back, his forehead touching at the place between his shoulder blades as he feels his dick twitch and throb as he spills into the condom wetly.   
  
Dan doesn’t take too long to follow, grunting and huffing as he continues to ride Phil in staggered little bounces, bowing over himself as he gets a hand on his neglected dick, whining until he’s shuddering, making another high pitched noise, and then going still as they both catch their breaths in almost perfect sync.   
  
Once Dan’s pulled off and Phil’s offering him an old shirt to clean up because Phil actually has no clean towels, it once again hits Phil how bizarre the whole situation is as he just watches in stunned silence as Dan zips his Tesco fleece back up and adjusts himself with a hand down his pants with a pleased looking smile.   
  
“So that was fun,” Dan speaks, voice a little hoarse sounding and Phil really has no idea how he’s going to get up and say goodbye after all that. But he has to, because Dan’s break is almost over and he has a job to do.    
  
“Yeah,” Phil croaks as he stands, legs feeling a bit like jelly but he manages to keep himself steady as the pair of them walk towards the door where they have to say goodbye.   
  
“I don’t… I don’t usually do this,” Dan tells him in a quiet voice, looking a little bashful as he stares down at his feet. “But I’m glad I did. You’re like. Really fucking hot.”   
  
Phil says nothing, looking at him, wondering how the hell this even happened today.   
  
When Dan does look up at him, he’s looking smaller, and unsure, his brows knitted together when he asks,   
  
“You… you’re not gonna tell on me, are you?”   
  
Phil frowns, “What? No. God. Course not.”

That seems to be enough to ease Dan after a millisecond because his face relaxes and the tension in his shoulders seem to ease away as his stature becomes more relaxed.   
  
“Oh,” Dan smiles and fuck, Phil didn’t expect to fall in love when he woke up this morning. “Thank you.”   
  
Phil smiles back all whilst his heart is doing a whole gymnast show in his chest, clearly going for first prize with the way it’s flipping and rolling around in there.   
  
“I, um. I think you’re hot too,” Phil’s words spill out of him before he has a chance to stop himself and Dan looks bashful for a moment, the little red patch on his jaw goes a deeper shade and Phil wishes he’d kissed him.   
  
But Dan’s moving towards the door, a hand on the handle and Phil’s trying to remember to wash it down with antibac all whilst trying to convince himself to say something. Do something.

But the door is open and Dan’s adjusting his fleece, pulling his mask back over his face and Phil wishes he could see his face, just one last time.   
  
“I have to go,” Dan tells him, a hint of sadness in his voice. Maybe Phil will just have to order everything from Tesco everyday until he finds Dan again. “You have ice cream in your bag so you should probably go put that away.”   
  
And maybe Phil’s been wrong all along. Maybe this was just a weird one time thing. Maybe Dan thinks everyone he sleeps with is hot.    
  
“Right,” Phil forces himself to smile, ignoring how wobbly his voice sounds as he clears his throat. “Have a nice day.”   
  
Dan pauses for a second before he walks off, turning to wave, and with that Phil watches him disappear down the stairs, his footsteps fading with every step until Phil can no longer hear him.    
  
He closes the door before his neighbours see him; he’s still clad in his pyjamas that are slightly sticky on the inside where he quickly wiped himself off, and his hair is probably a mess - and he stinks of sex.   
  
He needs to shower, but he’ll let the feeling of a good fuck linger with him a little longer as he heads to the counter where his shopping still is. He’s way past the point of washing every item, instead setting it out to put it away as quickly as possible.   
  
He’s at the bottom of the bag where the receipt floats around, and he’s about to ball it up and throw it in the bin when something catches his eye.   
  
Whether it’s fate or just his weird sixth sense, he reaches into the bag and pulls out the receipt, ignoring the hefty price that is printed at the bottom to read the note scribbled at the top in chicken scratch:   
  
_ Call me? Might not bring as much food next time though? :) Dan  _

There’s a number that’s just about understandable with his terrible handwriting but Phil’s heart is pounding in his chest as he reads it over and over again like stupid schoolgirl with a crush.   
  
He’s guessing Dan wrote it in the time he went to go find them something to clean up with and Phil can’t help the grin that tugs at the corners of his lips.   
  
He places the receipt on the bunch of bananas he’s pulled from the bag, smiling to himself as he heads towards the bathroom for a long, hot shower. 

**Author's Note:**

> sponsored by tesco. lmao jk
> 
> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


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